I thought this series of posts would take me about two weeks to complete, but we are coming up on two months and I’m still slowly working my way through them. I don’t even know if anyone cares to read these posts (fine by me), but I am loving having the space to process and record my thoughts and feelings on the one year anniversary of living in pandemic times. I’m going to wrap it up today by answering the last four questions since my answers are pretty short for these ones! You can find Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 here.
Question 7: What was a beautiful memory?
One of my favorite memories was the month that we spent going for a hike every day. During the month of April, I was so low that I felt like I couldn’t do anything. So I decided that the kids and I would hike every.single.day.
And we did. 30 days. 30 hikes. It was refreshing, beautiful, challenging and we learned so much about hiking from it!
Question 8: What do you believe now that you didn’t one year ago?
So many things that I have learned. If I could sum it up in one sentence it would be this: every single thing in our lives can change, but God will be constant. Obviously, I knew this mentally before March of 2020, but living through the last year has shown me in very real ways that we have no control over anything, really.
Question 9: What would you do differently?
This question is a tough one to answer because I can think of many things that I should have done differently, but I don’t know that I could have done them differently. For example, I wish that I been able to see friends in person. But I don’t think that would have happened with the circumstances that we were in. One thing I would for sure do differently is not to worry about it or spend hours obsessing over getting the virus. This was such a waste of my time. Not because it isn’t real or isn’t scary, but because I just wasted so much time in that mindset. But other than asking for a magic wish to take that away, I don’t know that anything anyone told me would have taken that away, you know? It was something I kind of had to live through and learn to manage. And grow from!
Question 10: What will you carry forward?
Part of me wants to erase 2020 and not carry any of it forward, to be perfectly honest! But then I realize how much this year taught me and how much I grew. I’m still not far enough away to feel like I can just look back and reflect. I feel like I am still processing all of it. But one major thing that I learned and plan to carry forward is my in real life community- both my school, my local church, and my friends (who happen to also be parts of those two communities). Having all of that taken away for many months was incredibly difficult, and it made me realize how important it is to cultivate those relationships in person. I am carrying forward saying yes to hosting bible study and having families over for dinner. I am saying yes to sitting around the dinner table and having silly, deep, soul-searching conversations about things we agree with and things we disagree with. Then moving into the living room and continuing the same on the couches.
I am carrying forward support of my husband and his career. It has been a TOUGH year for that, and sometimes I realize that I am the only positive voice that he hears all day. I am carrying forward standing by him through it all. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have long and hard conversations about what is going on, but it does mean that in the end I am a support to him.
What about you? Have you been able to take some time to think through and reflect on questions like this? I have found it very helpful to sit down and answer these questions, and even as I go through my day I often reflect on more parts to these answers.